We can Laugh about it now.. But at the time..

[Energumen]

Off babysitting this morning, but had a thought for an interesting and amusing thread- I hope.

The funniest or most disastrous roadside directions I ever received, I have a few, involving left /right hand, landmarks, deliberate misdirections, love to see some more.

[Western SMT]

Way back in the early 1960’s and we are up the north of Scotland touring about on a camping holiday and the only shop we could find this day had no milk.
Instructions from shopkeeper were – if you drive down the road for a few miles you will come across Donald’s cows, just help yourself.

[Ian]

When coaching I had a guide, she directed me to a particular road and then said " Pull up near to where the Big Tree USED to be"

Ian

[MisterB]

Back in the early 90's I was working for a company in the village of Normandy near Guildford.
We had ordered a load of packaging from a firm in the midlands. One morning I received a phonecall from a driver. He said right I am in Normandy where is the village. It took me a few seconds to cotton on to what he had just said, I passed him onto the warehouse manager just before callapsing on the floor in hysterics.
He had even paid for the ferry on his own credit card.

[Energumen]

The Vicar. Oh , it's my pleasure, continue along here to the T junction and turn left.
After about half a mile, you will see St Margaret's curch on your right, take next left.
There is a Salvation Army Hostel on the left, turn left , one moment, .... yes, turn left, the third turning before that. (rather clever that).

There is a large cemetery on the left and in the middle of a row of shops on the right is one of those Massage parlours, only a tiny door onto the street, if you didn't know it was there, you'd drive straight past. Oh, do I turn there?, no, drive straight past.
At the second set of traffic lights, straight over, and it is on your right.

[Energumen]

The drunk, (as it transired ), several turns, aheads etc. all using pub names, a bookies and a police house, then, the best landmark then is the old Woolworths, on the right, (is that a really old shopfront), not at all, Marks and Spencer have completely modernised it.

[G-CPTN]

I always direct people via the gasworks (which must have been gone completely now for more than fourty years). It was a significant structure located that dominated the confluence of several roads. I mean, you'd remember if they had demolished a cathedral, wouldn't you?

[Energumen]

So, another strange town, (unfamiliar would be more appropriate I suppose).

Group of about five males/females 14-16 years age group, are the only people about. So I seek directions.

Well, I am amazed, these kids were so pleasant and one in particular took it on himself, to give me very explicit directions, not a moment's hesitation, he had it all there, I am a bit suspicious and say so, small chuckle from group, nothing like a guffaw or anything, as the lad explains that he has been doing a paper round on the area for three years.

A final check that there are no low or weight restricted briges, or Weight limits, lorry bans etc. It all seems hunky dorey.

You didn't need me to finish did you. Some ten minutes later. Deja vu, yes of course it was familiar, the little devil had sent me on a very elaborate route, which brought me back to where I started, and there they were laughing and giving victory signs, as they hot footed it across a playing field.

I was too amused to be angry. That sort of teenage devilment I can live with, no person or property damaged, a good laugh was had by all.

[dmackay]

Originally Posted by Western SMT

Way back in the early 1960’s and we are up the north of Scotland touring about on a camping holiday and the only shop we could find this day had no milk.
Instructions from shopkeeper were – if you drive down the road for a few miles you will come across Donald’s cows, just help yourself.

I've sold the cows, There's a new shop about 20mls down the road that sometimes has milk in the mornings

[Energumen]

Nice one, very quick off the mark.