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Old 7th October 2008, 19:54
Energumen Energumen is offline  
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 267
Part Two, The return Journey.

Having enjoyed a very successful and eventful camp, where my co-driver, had taken over from a 'Don R', who had broken his leg whilst on despatch Rider duties.
We commence the return journey, with me having no co-driver and nominated as Tail end Charlie, with the recovery bar and an Austin A30 in the back, which belonged to a Corporal, who had driven it to camp, where it had given up the ghost.

The then Plant Troop Sargeant, whom I think worked in a Brewery, ( really, I don't know why I told you that, it probably had no bearing, or did it?). Anyway, he was a very strident and organised sort of fellow, who believed in giving precise orders, with detailed contingency plans, for the event of an emergency, instructed me thus;
"Right, you are Tail end Charlie and will act as recovery".
"If you see any of our vehicles stopped, stop with them to offer assistance".

"By the way N", says I, "I have no route details or maps, and if I get seperated, I could have a problem", " Always the smart ****", he says, "just do as you are something well told".

In this spirit of harmony, mutual respect and shared wisdom, off we go, making our way to joining the A1.

Well everything was going great, cab happy as hell, no co-driver to take over and share the driving, I was made up and happy as a dog with two 'Richards'.

But this was without my being a Party to Sargeant Strident's fiendish little scheme hatched between him and the driver of the BK Lorry Mounted Digger,
" Right Johno" he had said, "this broody (sic), digger is holding everything up, so I want you to follow me on a shortcut so we can get ahead of the convoy, and meet them nearer the A1".

Still whistling and enjoying the scenery, with regular looks astern in my 2inch diameter mirrors, which were usually just filled with the image of the green canvas canopy, blowing in the wind. I digress, yes still happily trundling on and keeping the vehicle in front at a sensible distance, I round a bend into a small town shopping street, and there it is! It's the broody Bk Digger and Sargeant Strident in his Austin Champ. You know the man, the one who said "You are Tail end etc. etc.".

Being a good soldier, I did with all due care, find a place to stop, to offer my assistance, Do you remember that bit?.

Well Sargeant Strident seems to have forgotten our earlier little chat and came barreling up the road, breathing fire from his nostrils and probably his annal orifice as well, then throwing his beret on the road, in a most undignified and unbecoming manner, as he undermined my Parents Prerogative, by re-naming me, in a most disrespectful, voluble but beautifully obscene way.

No point in repeating my response, but it was suitably appropriate and interspersed with my most graphically demonstrated expletives as I followed the next order. "You better put you broody foot down now, and catch up with the rest of the covoy", so that is it. But remember, no route card or map and he did not tell me that the rest of them had taken a left turn, half a mile further on. So I am now barreling along at an enthralling 45mph, for the first time that day, you know, straight on like.

To be Continued, The Don R experience, not to mention the London Circular and PC 49.

Energumen

Last edited by Energumen; 21st December 2009 at 23:26.
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